We all know the challenge of being hurt and learning to forgive and let go instead of harboring bitterness and anger. It is SO much easier to be bitter than to let go of a grudge and release that person. Jesus has forgiven us in immeasurable ways and has invited us to do the same. It’s not simple or easy, but it is essential, and the earlier in life that we learn how to feel the hurt but choose to forgive and let go, the better.
Forgiveness is not pretending it didn’t hurt.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that forgiveness means you just move on as if nothing happened. This is still harboring resentment and just bottling it up until it explodes.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean something didn’t hurt you. It means we choose to release a person from their wrongdoing and allow the Lord to bring justice. We need the Holy Spirit’s help to do this.
Scripture reminds us why we can forgive:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Christ first forgave us. For all the ways we have turned against Him and hurt Him, He has forgiven us, and for Him to forgive us, it hurt… A LOT. When offense takes place, it’s going to hurt. That’s okay to acknowledge, but acknowledge it with Christ and ask for His help to forgive, in the same way that He has forgiven them and us.
Holding onto it will cost you something
There is a popular saying that to not forgive someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. If you’ve ever held a grudge, you know it doesn’t just stay contained. It leaks into everything—your mood, your relationships, even your view of God.
The Bible warns about that:
“See to it…that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)
Bitterness doesn’t just sit quietly. It grows. It festers into everything.
Help your students understand the weight of this—not as a threat, but as truth. Forgiveness isn’t just about the other person. It’s about keeping your own heart soft and pure before the Lord.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean everything goes back to normal
This is important, especially for teenagers navigating friendships, trust, and boundaries.
You can forgive someone and still recognize that trust needs to be rebuilt. You can release a grudge without putting yourself back in the exact same situation.
Even Scripture shows wisdom in relationships alongside grace.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
Forgiveness is commanded. Reconciliation is sometimes a process or not possible. You can release the weight being held over someone that’s offended you and walk in the freedom of forgiving others.
Practicals:
This is all great in theory, but how do we help students walk this out? PRAYER, prayer is a huge part of forgiving someone. Depending on the situation, we may need to forgive multiple times. There are a few different ways we can pray intentionally and invite the Holy Spirit to help us forgive.
-
Be honest with God about your emotions – Encourage your students to come honestly before the Lord. To lay their whole heart out before Him with all the emotions they are feeling and ways they are hurt, and let Him respond to it. The Lord will speak to the things we bring to Him. Encourage your students to bring it ALL to Him. He can handle it.
-
Pray for the person who hurt you – This is very different than praying AT the person. Genuinely praying for the person to know the love of God, to be healed, set free, etc. Help your students pray for the person who hurt them with a sincere heart
-
Say it out loud – This seems so simple, but it is so effective. In prayer, out loud, guide your student to pray “God I forgive ____” say it as many times as needed over however many days, weeks, or months.
Be honest about your own struggles with forgiveness. Not in a heavy way, but in a real way. Let them see that this is something you’re still learning, too.
Ask questions like:
-
“Is there anyone you’re having a hard time forgiving right now?”
-
“What do you think forgiveness actually means?”
And then sit with their answers.
Point them back to Jesus—not as someone who just tells us to forgive, but as the One who makes it possible.
Remember…
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision. Sometimes it’s something you have to choose again and again.
But every time you do, you’re loosening the grip that hurt has on your heart—and making more room for God to move.
And that’s worth it.
Aubrie Kimbrough
Media and Mobilization Manager