In the student ministry where I serve as Student Ministries Pastor, middle and high school students are often so excited to tell me about times an adult leader mentored them. “ __________ and I went out for coffee this week!” they proudly proclaim! Whenever I hear this, I am filled with so much joy because deep, authentic relationships are often the place where true life transformation takes place. Jesus’ plan for discipleship was not necessarily an “up-front” plan, but actually, an “up-close” plan as our Lord and Savior intentionally chose 12 individuals to challenge, lead, teach and mentor.
Students are hungry to be mentored
I believe that many students today feel a hunger for spiritual mentorship (whether they are aware of it or not…..) They are hungry to be discipled, and their soul longs for someone to teach them the way of Jesus and walk alongside them on this journey. They want someone who encourages them, challenges them, and holds them accountable.
Research shows that students who have at least five caring adults in their lives who invest in them and are open to mentoring them in small, medium, and big ways are much more likely to develop a lifelong faith.[1] Every follower of Jesus should consistently be mentored by someone “two steps ahead of them” but also be mentoring someone else who is “two steps behind them.” What is waiting on the other side of your “YES” to mentoring a student who is a few steps behind you in their walk with Jesus?
Presence Speaks LOUD
Even if you are a quiet personality, you have the opportunity to send a very LOUD message with simply your presence. This is one of the most amazing things about mentoring relationships! Students will know without a doubt you care about them, by the fact that you simply showed up. Whether at Starbucks, the church, on a walk, or connecting after an event, students will internalize one of the greatest messages they could ever hear: “I do matter. I do have value. I am seen. I am loved.”
When thinking about the power of presence, Doug Fields encourages leaders to think about mentoring through a principle he calls the “5-3-1”. Oftentimes, most adult leaders and youth workers will begin to know 5 students pretty well and have a good connection with them. Of those 5 students, 3 of them will often be more willing to go a little bit deeper and receive mentoring outside of the ministry programs. From those 3, one of those relationships often exhibits more potential to become a lifelong mentoring relationship. Youth workers who consistently know 5 students really well, disciple 3 of them, and intentionally mentor 1 can have a huge impact on the kingdom of God.[2]
Students will be honest, and you can go so much deeper!
In a world of social media and constant posting, we have become experts at “editing” our lives and displaying the presentation that we want people to see about us. However, it is much more difficult to “edit our lives” when you are face-to-face, being asked direct questions about your life and relationship with Jesus. Mentoring forces us to go below the surface and to be honest about where we really are spiritually. Students often open up about much deeper topics when having a 1-on-1 connection with them.
Recently, one of my high school students began his senior year classes primarily through dual enrollment at one of our local universities. This new schedule allowed him to begin meeting with me every single week at a specific time. To have deep conversations during these times, we decided to read and go through an 18-chapter book on the foundations of discipleship to Jesus and talk about one big reflection question each week during our connect. This “curriculum-based approach” has greatly inspired our times together and given us much more to talk about than our daily lives, struggles, and joys. It has raised the “spiritual temperature” of our weekly connect and led to amazing conversations about Jesus Christ. Don’t be afraid to be creative in how you approach your mentoring! Develop the relationship and consider finding a resource that works well for you to guide you both into fruitful conversations.
I encourage you to remember today how important mentoring is to Youth Ministry! I believe that mentoring is the heart of what youth workers are called to do. Rely on the Holy Spirit as He fills you with hope, peace, and power as you trust him in your mentoring relationships! (Romans 15:13)
Christian Arbour
Student Ministries Pastor
Kentwood Community Church
Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash
[1] Kara Powell, Brad Giffin, and Cheryl Crawford. Sticky Faith, Youth Worker Edition. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 79.
[2] Doug Fields. Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 88.