Most of us who work with students in the local church focus our leadership primarily on how we influence and impact students. Going a step further, some of us also focus our leadership and attention on our adult volunteer team (and if you are not doing this you should). But there is a whole other category of influence we often entirely miss.
And if you miss this one…you won’t be at full Kingdom capacity in your leadership. Because this category could be the difference between youth ministry that is full of life and growth, or one that is decaying.
In over 25 years of local church ministry, it’s where I’ve seen our leadership in youth ministry fall the flattest. More mistakes are made in this area, and as a result youth ministry and its influence are minimized, often quarantined to a much lesser role that what it should be.
LEADING UP
If you’re familiar with the 360 degree leadership theory you’ll understand when I use the term “leading up”. If you aren’t familiar with this, look at this before reading on.
The 360 degree leadership concept is a visual of you as a leader in the center. Directly to your right and left is what amounts to your peers in leadership, aka your “equals”. These are the people you are leading beside. Below you on this visual would be your students, and your adult volunteers as well. They represent the people that you are leading, that are following you, in the sense of leadership Above you in this visualization would be your supervisor, aka your “boss”. They are leading you. For many in the local church, this is the senior or lead pastor.
So while we spend a majority of our time and our leadership skills on those we lead, how much energy and focus do we spend on those who lead us?
Finding favor with those who lead you is what separates good leaders in youth ministry from great ones. If you can figure this one out, you’ll find the downhill snowball’s momentum on your side much more often. So how do you “lead” your leader? And in our context of youth ministry specifically, how do you lead your pastor?
“Leading” or a better word would be “influencing” the leadership above you is something you need to continue to be more strategic about. When you think about it, they hold in their hands your budget, your reputation, your influence in your church, and many other things as well. I’m not saying this in a negative way, but the reality is he or she has a lot of impact upon your leadership to your youth ministry. So influencing them by sharing your heart and vision for youth ministry is a critical piece of your success.
Let me share with you some simple ways to do this.
FIND THEIR LANGUAGE AND SPEAK IT
Think of the last time you heard a conversation in a language you didn’t understand. What did you get out of it? Probably not much. Let’s use this same principle with your supervisor. If you are speaking in a way they don’t understand, you won’t get very far in your communication.
Everyone has his or her own language. Using your senior pastor as an example, think about them for a second. Does she speak the language of precision and detail or story? Is email his preferred way of communication? Maybe meetings are what they prefer, talking face to face. Sometimes leaders like written reports or spreadsheets. You may know about the “5 Love Language” concept, finding the way our loved ones interpret our affection. Think of this for leadership, what is the language of your boss? Become a student of them; learn them and what they like. This isn’t being disingenuous it’s being smart!
I once had a supervisor who just wanted a “pop in” once a day just to say hi. It was my way of letting them know I was there and that if they needed anything I was available. Although many times it seemed like work to do this simple thing, I tried my best to do this every day, because I knew this was their language.
If you speak their language, they will listen. If you don’t, the opposite is true as well.
BE RESPECTABLE
Many youth ministries I have known, both local and national, have been built upon being disrespectful in their approach. Their attitude could be summarized in the statement, “We’re doing this ministry to students in spite of how our church leadership is against us”, as if the struggle and their main adversary was their local church leadership. I’ve been to a national youth ministry conference where this rebellious and rogue attitude was celebrated (That’s why I quit attending. Thankfully I think they’ve changed).
Approaching youth ministry this way will only diminish what you are ultimately trying to do – reach and help students. If you truly see yourself on the same “side” as your church this will go a long way in enhancing your ministry mission. If you don’t have respect for your church, then listen closely…no matter how much you think you can keep that a secret you can’t. Your attitude will infiltrate everything you do. Respect those in authority above you. Realize that if you do this you will create more friends, and you need all of those you can get in your work! Sadly, I’ve seen too many youth ministry leaders not show respect (consciously or subconsciously) and it has made enemies of their supervisor/boss/pastor/board. This is a dead end street.
If this is you I’ll use a strong word here: REPENT. This lack of respect is damaging everything around you, including yourself. It’s time for this to stop, the Kingdom is too important!
BE PROFESSIONAL
I remember being in a meeting of about 10 pastors once in my early days of youth ministry. Someone asked my senior pastor in front of this group if my dress and my appearance were acceptable, as I was wearing shorts, sandals and a short sleeve shirt along with along goatee. I won’t tell you what my first internal response was when he asked this about me, like I wasn’t even in the room! My pastor “covered” for me, saying that I wasn’t there to reach adults, but students. This may sound ignorant of me, but this may have been the first day I took note of how my appearance gave an impression about my work with students. Right or wrong, this pastor didn’t think I took my work with students seriously.
I’m not saying to wear a dress or a tie (although they are coming back) but to think of how you come across to your boss in how you appear. Starting with how you look is one way to start. Believe it or not, you can appeal to students, parents, and pastors if you put some thought into your strategic appearance.
Then there are other simple ways:
1. Be on time
2. Hit your deadlines
3. Don’t make excuses.
I often tell young leaders that excuses say more about you than your circumstances. When you fail to get something done and you say something like, “I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy lately” you don’t realize that damage you’ve done to your reputation. You are saying this to a busy person, who probably has a lot more on their plate than you do. When you make excuses you minimize your leadership influence over them.
Tell them you blew it, you forgot, whatever. Doing this will hold you accountable, and will show them you are a truth-teller. This is a great way to lead up to them.
I wonder what you would add to this list? What are ways you know of to lead up with excellence? Let me challenge you to grow in this area. It is the difference between good and great results!
Jeff Eckart, CEO
Never The Same
© 2015, Never The Same