Bullying is everywhere. It takes many forms: intentional and unintentional, obvious or behind the scenes, in person or digital, and even in your Youth Group. Gasp! Not mine. My students are angels. They love each other.
Unfortunately, the truth is that in every group, large or small, someone will feel left out, unheard, unloved, hurt, rejected, etc. So, the question is, how do we stop it? I’ll offer you a few ideas to get your mind thinking, but it all starts with this main thought: Are you being proactive or reactive?
The goal is to take action. We want to be proactive, but many of us will be coming at this reactively, and that’s okay. Being proactive means setting clear expectations, teaching healthy behavior, and creating a culture that prevents bullying before it starts. Being reactive means stepping in after bullying occurs to address the harm and guide students toward restoration.
1. Setting Clear Expectations
Many of us probably have some form of a “code of ethics” or behavioral contract with our students—something that lays out how we expect them to act while they’re at Youth Group and hopefully beyond as well. (If this isn’t something that you have, I recommend considering adding one. It can be a contract that gets physically signed or a paper that gets sent home, but ensuring that expectations are set is important!)
2. Teaching Healthy Behavior
It’s also important that we communicate these expectations to our groups. You can do this during announcements in a fun, lighthearted way. You could also center a message around why you have the expectations you do and what the Bible has to say about the way we live our lives.
3. Creating Culture
We’ve set our expectations and communicated them clearly. Now we need to be sure that our group actually takes on the traits we’re teaching! One idea is to rally your adult and student leaders to model the behavior and expectations that you want your group to embody. Want your group to be more inclusive when new people come? Make sure you’ve got adults and students ready to greet and welcome new students. Want your group to love each other well? Get your adult and student leaders to lead the charge of caring for and encouraging all the people in your group.
Whether you’re in a good spot and you’re able to get out in front of this, or you’ve seen the problems and you now realize you need to act, it’s important that you make a plan and take action. We all want our groups to be places where all students feel loved, welcomed, and included, so let’s be intentional about making it happen!
Kyle Wood
Director of Operations and Communication