Part 3: Youth Workers
(Be sure to read at least Part 1 of this blog to make sense of this post. Also check out Part 2 for the connection to families and parents)
“All I wanna do is play Frisbee Golf”
We live in a society where kids are growing up too fast…and then they are not growing up. There’s a growing trend in American culture…”delayed adolescence”. This has become the period of time between high school graduation and the mid-twenties. More and more young adults don’t consider themselves adults, and therefore are hesitant to make commitments in areas like marriage, family and career.
A friend of mine recently told me about a guy in his ministry who is in his young 20’s. He asked, “What direction are you wanting to go in life?” His response, ‘work just enough to pay the bills so he could hang out with his buddies and play frisbee golf as much as he could.’ His aspirations in life were to play frisbee.
Maybe it’s an extreme example but anecdotally it’s more and more prevalent amongst parents and youth and young adult leaders across the country.
The question to address for this blog post is “What is local church youth ministry’s role in this trend?”
Youth workers, what can you do to guide students towards seeing the benefits of taking on adult responsibilities and commitments? Here are some thoughts.
EXPECT MORE
One value I’ve built my youth ministry leadership upon is: DON’T UNDER-CHALLENGE A STUDENT. In 25 years of youth ministry, I’ve never had a student fail a clearly communicated expectation. This is an art form to learn how to appropriately challenge and also communicate clear expectations.
My strongest suggestion and encouragement to ministry leaders is to quit being afraid to challenge your people.
They are waiting for big challenges, but often they won’t find it in our ministries. And sadly, they often turn elsewhere. When I think of my favorite coaches, teachers and professors, they were the ones who pushed me the most. They saw more than what I did, and brought out the best in me. A great leader does this with people they lead.
Youth ministry needs to challenge students to love courageously and do hard things.
How can you do this? Here are two suggestions:
- Bible Engagement
If you know me or read my blog post, this is the #1 way to impact students long term, and there’s not a close second. Are you providing a path for your students to get to know God by being in His Word? We lament over biblical illiteracy in our day. But we need to do something about it!
Don’t fall for the excuse that students don’t have time. It’s not a priority. But your leadership can change that. (and it can be fun!)
This is the very reason we launched Don’t Climb Alone, to help youth workers engage their students in Scripture. It is proven to change behavioral patterns.
- Empower service
Allowing students chances to serve can be a powerful expression of courage, followership and leadership. Invite them not only on a serving trip (aka missions trip, but I like the term “serving” better) but also in a much harder place, like their school campus. It could be an ongoing project or something special. Going to a faraway place to serve in the summer or on spring break is exciting but also relatively easy. Where it will really cost them is in front of their peers because they see these people every day.
It costs a student more to serve on their campus than it does to travel to a place where no one knows them.
This takes courage. Don’t be afraid to call it out in them.
DON’T OVERCORRECT YOUR MINISTRY
Many young youth workers tend to project their current faith experience onto their students. I’ve heard them say, “Students aren’t into games, they just want the meat of worship and the Word. So we don’t play games and waste time on fun in our ministry.” I agree it’s true that students want more than ever to be challenged, but we also need to remember that they are adolescents. They are not people in their twenties who are done with games. They are students.
I’m not one for “entertainment” based youth ministry, but I also know that having fun is a way to create community and take them to deeper places. Things like games, engagement and laughter are tools in helping students. This is why team comps are a big deal at NTS Camp. We recognize that it’s important to have fun. (but obviously you need to offer more than just fun)
Don’t overcorrect and leave behind important methods in how you are reaching and connecting to students.
STRATEGIZE FOR BOTH GENDERS
Have a strategy to reach both guys and girls in your ministry. Let me use guys as an example.
There’s a reality that’s emerging amongst local church student ministry today: WE ARE LOSING GUYS. Across the board, I’m hearing this over and over. Guys are disappearing from youth ministry. There are multiple reasons for this.
- Programming that’s female-oriented
Most ministries tend to emphasize group singing and shared-feelings. Guys are generally non-verbal and action-oriented. Please don’t eliminate musical worship and small group discussion! But realize that guys respond differently.
- Challenge-less-ness
There’s no element of risk, challenge, or courage in many youth ministries. Recently my friend Mark Oestreicher wrote “Youth Ministry Is Risky Business” saying that youth ministry without risk is “lame.”
Don’t get fired or sued for something stupid, but offer risk of some kind, guys need it.
- Options
I put this last but it’s often used as first when youth workers respond to why they are losing guys. It might be a bit overused as an excuse but it is true that the many options students have for their attention is a factor. Long ago many ministries gave up mid-week options for their youth ministry in favor of weekend programming. I did this and quadrupled a youth ministry, in part due to moving our Wednesday night program to Sunday night. If a guy student is a leader on their campus in some capacity, in the arts, sports, or a perfectionist-type academic, mid-week probably won’t be their option of choice.
We must always remember that the primary discipler of a student is their parent, guardian and family. Our job as youth workers is to come alongside them and support. Let parents know you support them and offer your help in encouraging them to grow up into God-loving adults.
I’d love to get your thoughts and feedback on this and all of our topics. Hit me up on Twitter @jeffeckart #aretheygrowingup or the Never The Same Facebook page where this will be linked.
Youth workers with questions or ideas, please post on our Facebook page. This is a great way to support each other as we do our best to raise Godly, healthy young adults.
Jeff Eckart, CEO
Never The Same
© 2015, Never The Same