Oh, middle school and high school. I loved you, and at the same time, I loathed you. These were all of our figure-it-out years, the years when we knew absolutely nothing, thought we knew everything, and lived like we were invincible. But these were also the years when insecurity was at its worst, and everyone around us seemed to be asking, “So… who are you?”
It’s one thing to look back and remember these years with a little sympathy for what our students are going through. It’s another thing entirely to tackle this head-on in our Youth Ministries. I don’t have the perfect answer for you today. But I do have a plan for you to consider. Here are three ways you can help students emphasize identity over insecurity.
1. Spot the Lies
Our students are being fed information from every direction: what the world says they should be, what their peers think about them, and what God says is true. With so many competing voices, it seems like it should be easy to identify truth from lies… but was it easy for you at that age?
The only way they’ll recognize truth when they hear it is to become familiar with it. They need to hear it, see it, and eventually believe it. That’s where we come in. Training takes repetition. It takes hearing something over and over, not just to remember it, but to have it cemented in their hearts.
We need to teach them what God says about them. Tell them. Show them. Give them real-world experiences that remind them they are made in the image of their Creator—that He loves them not for their performance, not for the work they can do, not for how they behave or look, but simply because they are His.
It might feel simple, but if we’re consistent, it can be powerful.
2. Shift the Focus
Whether you’re hiking in the woods, out on the water, or driving a car, if all you see is what’s directly in front of you, you’re going to get lost. The same is true for our students and their identity.
A great strategy for helping them understand who they are is to shift the focus away from themselves.
When we help them think about God, His character, His faithfulness, His compassion, it gives them something bigger to anchor to. When we help them see other people as God’s children, they can celebrate others’ success instead of turning it into self-criticism. When we give them opportunities to serve, they begin redefining what success and failure look like
When they lift their eyes from themselves, their entire worldview expands. They begin to see life and their place in it through God’s tenderness and compassion. It’s helping them see the forest for the trees… or maybe the ocean beyond the waves.
3. Stand in Truth
To stand in truth, they must first know the truth. We can teach it. Their parents can teach it. The camp speaker can teach it. The Lead Pastor can teach it. But until they take ownership of it themselves, they likely won’t stand firm in it.
We need to help them build rhythms that reinforce the truths they’re hearing.
Encourage them to read and memorize Scripture—not just with a casual “hope you’re reading your Bible,” but with a clear plan for where to start, what to do, and how to reflect on what they read. Teach them to speak truth out loud. Show them how to remind themselves of God’s promises when they feel lost. Equip them to recite Scripture, call out the names of God, or sing a worship song that grounds them.
Help them build the daily habit of prayer and leaning into the Holy Spirit’s guidance. These rhythms become anchors long after Youth Group ends.
Our students are bombarded with lies every day. Let’s help them build the tools, rhythms, and truths they’ll need not just to survive these years, but to walk confidently in who God has made them to be—long after they leave our ministries.
Kyle Wood
Director of Operations and Communication
Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash